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Boob Alert

I am officially putting out a boob alert. I went out this afternoon to rate boobs and there were absolutely none to be found. We went to two regular places that always have great boobs and I couldn’t be more disappointed. It is 150 freaking degrees in Phoenix and women are covered up like Minnesota in the winter. Who in the hell wears a turtleneck in the middle of summer? I swear one woman was actually wearing a turtleneck. Well I can’t imagine anything worse than spending an entire afternoon and not only not seeing any boobs worth rating but worse still leaving empty handed. Not a phone number a date or even a girl that was worth talking to.

If this isn’t a call for a boob alert then I don’t know what is. Gentlemen I am severely disappointed in you letting your wives and girlfriends go out all covered up on such a beautiful summer day. I would never let my bitch cover her big funbags up like that. I am proud of what she has and so is she. I insist on no bra and tight shirts every time we go out together so get off your butts and train your women. What is this world coming to? Are we becoming a bunch of prude Midwesterners who go around thumping bibles and covering up their women’s boobs? Wake up men and think about your fellow man. You can’t just keep her all to yourself it just isn’t right. Learn how to share and this world will be a better place for all of us.

Ladies you also need to do your part. First we prefer tight shirts and hard nipples, so take care to twist pinch or ice down your nipples anytime you are going to be in public. Second you can at least wear a shirt that will give us a nice cleavage shot. See through is always best bust cleavage will suffice if you can’t do any better. I never want to have to put out a boob alert again so please do your part to show some boobs when you go out.  Take your queue from the following pictures and you won’t go wrong.

cleavage

Great Hoooters

mariah carey side boob

jessica-alba-hard-nipples

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